Wednesday, May 27, 2009

He Did What?!

An ex-boyfriend contacted me today to chat. We exchanged pleasantries. The usual "how are you doing?" kind of stuff. He kept asking how I was, and what I've been up to. I wanted to say "I've been SO busy turning down dates from all the hot doctors & lawyers in town!", but I told him the truth... "same shit, different day".
After he realized I was probably leading a life just as exciting as his since he dumped me, he continued to tell me about a new toy he bought. A toy? Hmmm. I was curious. He proceeded to tell me that he had purchased, after much research and countless blog post testimonials, a penis extender.
A WHAT? Penis extender. A $300 Penis Extender! This crazy contraption hooks on to your manhood and stretches it out! He told me he has to wear it 4 hours a day! No wonder he's messaging me to chat, he can't leave the house!
I was a bit shocked at this revelation. We had been intimately involved, and while he was no porn star, he was well within the average guidelines, which most of my prior bf's have been in as well.
The funny thing about this whole scenario is the reason he broke up with me in the first place. His excuse for ending the relationship was that he needed "time to work on himself" (his exact words!). When he told me that, I didn't think the work he was referring to was making his penis larger!
I told him I thought that was pretty funny considering the reason he dumped me. Then he proceeded to say "Well, we really weren't boyfriend and girlfriend...we were just dating, and I haven't asked you out in a while." Excuse me? This was coming from the man who asked me, like a giddy boy in junior high, to "go steady". I said "going steady was for teenagers, and while I was still getting pimples at the age of 35, I'd settle with calling him my boyfriend." So yes, we were boyfriend & girlfriend. You don't have a break up talk about how you need time to work on yourself, and shouldn't be with anyone, if you aren't bf/gf.
Well, I hope he and his new found penis growth will be happy with each other!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Through the Fog

Why do things always seem more intense at night? Everything seems to be enhanced by the darkness. Emotions more intense, feelings more real. Isn't that why scary movies are better in the dark? Somehow the darkness enhances and heightens our senses.
At night, in the fog of the dark... maybe the mind feels free to wander a bit. The mind thinks about what could have been, what is, and what should be. The heart joins in with its relentless nagging desire to give, and before you know it, I'm having and emotional meltdown!
I am a pretty emotional gal. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I'm not afraid to tell people what I'm thinking. Of course, this often leads to heart break, when one exposes the raw nerve of love & desire. I'll often say things that, upon reflection, could have been held back a bit.
Do I regret my emotional wanders through the fog? No... that's part of who I am. Dreamy, impulsive with my emotions....romantic! And you know what, I wouldn't have it any other way!

Friday, May 15, 2009

Work with me!

A recent "boyfriend" of mine broke up with me because he claimed he wasn't ready to date anyone so soon after his divorce. I believed his story of "needing time for myself", and wanting to work on some things in his life before getting involved with someone else.
Imagine my surprise when I log on to one of my usual dating sites, and find his profile on there. Not only was his profile on the site, he was actively signed in, and a gold member! Wow, what a difference a few weeks can make! I guess he's worked on himself enough. Must not have been much to work with, I'm thinking.

Creative Forces

I need to be more creative. Or at least more productive! I've always been a creative person, with my photography and art, but my production level seems to be affected by so many external things. My drive to create is often pushed aside by another driving force.... love. Well, ok... the search for love. I find myself searching for my Mister Right so often (and on a regular basis!) that it has become part of my daily schedule. I get up, make coffee, scan the dating sites.... multiple dating sites....tweet about the losers I come across... tweet some more and complain that I'm spending too much time looking for men..... repeat. and get the idea.
I do find that when I am in a relationship, I do seem to have more time for the creative things like painting, and writing, and often my "love" will inspire me to create works of art. Many times I've created something for the object of my desire, and presented it to him as a token of my feelings. Some of those works of art, I wish I had gotten back after the breakup, but many were created with just that person in mind, and would remind me of them, so it's better that they aren't sitting around!
Now, I just need to get motivated...... and create! Write! Paint! Glue paper to every surface in my apartment!