Friday, July 10, 2009

Game Delay

My "back in the game" attitude experienced a game delay. After a week of multiple dates, with multiple guys.... I got thrown off track by one of the guys.
POF guy, the "older guy", and I had 4 dates last week. We had a good time getting to know each other. I had to get past my hang up of him being 42, which is older than any guy I've dated before. After hanging out with him, I realized that on him, 42 wasn't that bad.
On our last date he brought me a dozen roses. Pink, my favorite color. He even came over to help me pack my car up for my vacation.
While I was on vacation, we kept in touch by texting a lot. A few days into the trip, I was in the movies when I received a phone call from POF. When I got done with the movie, I returned his call. He said he didn't call me. Hmmm. Confused.
A few minutes, I get a text from POF saying that while he was visiting his daughter, his ex-wife had taken his phone, and must have tried to call me. Great! Just what I need!
Sure enough, about a half hour later, I get a phone call from a number I didn't recoginize. I let it go to voicemail. It was the ex-wife. She introduced herself, and said she was "going to ruin everything for POF" and I.
The evening continued with multiple texts from her. Asking if I knew about POF ruining his daughters birthday (still don't know what that is about!), asking if I had sex with him, and if I had sent him "provocative" photos. She wanted to warn me about POF, and said the last 2 women he tried to date, broke up with him because he lied. She some how found my dating profile on the POF site, and asked if she could show it to her daughter. Her daughter didn't know anything about me before that!
I didn't respond to any of her calls or texts. I let POF know that she had called and texted, and let him know what kinds of things she was accusing him and I of.
I felt attacked, and like I was being judged by someone who doesn't even know me. I wanted to defend myself, but I didn't want to get involved with this woman. I left it up to POF to set his ex-wife straight, and to tell her to leave me alone. They obviously have some issues to work on between themselves before he should try to get involved with anyone else.
This whole episode has put dating POF on hold. I told him I needed time to think about what I wanted. I know what I don't want is to have to deal with a crazy ex-wife calling me and texting me!
I'm not writing POF guy off completely, but I am taking things VERY slowly now, cautiously considering any future dating possibilities.


  1. Oh how AWFUL! I'm so sorry for you. I actually have not had to deal with any crazy Ex's yet and what on EARTH does this women think this accomplishes? Anyway, you have the right attitude about it all.

  2. I had to deal with a crazy ex-wife once. Get out now while you still can. It will only get worse.

  3. You definitely don't need that in your life. No offense to POF, but he needs to have that situation resolved before moving on to date anybody else.

  4. Wow and ouch. Sounds like (like CBG said) dude needs to get some things in his own life cleaned up before dating someone else. However, this is just me, but I'm always willing to give someone the benefit of the doubt (I mean, I had MORE than my fair share of baggage when I first started dating CBG). I would personally give POF the opportunity to clean up this mess before it gets any worse. If he can, then great - if he can't, then I would personally be moving on.

    I think you did the right thing, by the way, by not responding to his ex. I think it's better for your own mental health if you totally stay out of the situation. Good for you! :)

  5. Wow. If that isn't "Baby Mama Drama," I don't know what is! That woman sounds like a psycho...perhaps that's why she's his ex. I agree that you should put him on hold for kinda sucks, though, if he's a really nice guy that his ex can ruin it. I hope everything works out!

  6. O M G that is crazy - I can see two sides of this. #1 Poor POF I mean obviously she is trying to look like a psycho who wants to ruin his life to scare away any of his propects. Apparently he wants to move on and probably deserves the chance at a second try. #2 You - you totally deserve a nice healthy relationship with a good guy and the stress of POF's psycho ex might be a little much. But at the same time if you like him enough it might be worth the wait, she'll probably get bored with it after a while when you don't respond and go away. Either way I hope it works out for you!! x's and o's

  7. Ouch. I've been there and it's not a good place to be.

    Please be careful.