In in online dating world, a good photo is priceless. It's the first thing someone will see when looking at your profile. On some sites, it's all about the photo, with very little information to go along with with.
I'm not one to judge solely based on looks, but a good picture will help create a "spark", that little something that makes you stop and look twice at someones profile.
Some people look exactly like their photos, which I think is a good thing! For good, or bad.. when you meet someone online, you see their photo, you begin to imagine that person as you are chatting with them. When you finally meet in person, there are no surprises. I met one guy online, who looked like a late 20-something alterna-snowboarder dude. When we went in person, he was a 40+ man who looked like a troll! How could I have gotten such a wrong visual impression of someone? I've also had conversations with guys who have a few photos on their profiles, showing some variety and range.. but realize later that the range of photos they were promoting was from 10 years ago.
I try to keep my photos current. I'm always taking new photos, and updating my profiles. I was just stopped in public last night, by a guy who recognized me from one of my dating profiles. I must look like my photos for this guy to see me in a crowd of a thousand people, and say "Hey, That's the girl I emailed 2 weeks ago".
I only wish that more men took the time to make sure they have a decent photo, and actually look like the photo they are promoting.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
Dating Butterflies
I love that feeling I get when I meet someone new, and there's that flutter in my stomach.... I call it the Dating Butterflies.
Dating Butterflies are what you get when you contact someone on a dating site, and they respond to your email. It's the feeling you get when someone *winks* at you on a dating site, and you want to *wink* back. The instant connection with someone that makes you want to know more.
This initial phase of finding someone and wanting to find out everything you can about them, gives me the Dating Butterflies. I feel like a school girl... giddy... wanting to scribble his name on my notebook. I wonder about all the little, silly things... like his favorite color, how he takes his coffee, and boxers or briefs? The small things, that in the end, really have no bearing on actual relationships. Does is really matter that he drinks his coffee black, and I'm a die hard cream & tons of sugar girl? The details are just the sprinkles on the frosting, they add color and variety, but don't really change the frosting.
The Dating Butterflies leaves you with a nervous, excited feeling most of the day. Excited about finding out more about this possible match. In this online dating world, the Dating Butterflies is most common before the first date. The emails, texts, phone calls.... finding out as much as you can about this person, in hopes that the first date will be amazing!
Dating Butterflies are what you get when you contact someone on a dating site, and they respond to your email. It's the feeling you get when someone *winks* at you on a dating site, and you want to *wink* back. The instant connection with someone that makes you want to know more.
This initial phase of finding someone and wanting to find out everything you can about them, gives me the Dating Butterflies. I feel like a school girl... giddy... wanting to scribble his name on my notebook. I wonder about all the little, silly things... like his favorite color, how he takes his coffee, and boxers or briefs? The small things, that in the end, really have no bearing on actual relationships. Does is really matter that he drinks his coffee black, and I'm a die hard cream & tons of sugar girl? The details are just the sprinkles on the frosting, they add color and variety, but don't really change the frosting.
The Dating Butterflies leaves you with a nervous, excited feeling most of the day. Excited about finding out more about this possible match. In this online dating world, the Dating Butterflies is most common before the first date. The emails, texts, phone calls.... finding out as much as you can about this person, in hopes that the first date will be amazing!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Speed Dating ....again?
I've tried Speed Dating before. It was a fun evening. You sit down with 10 or so men, chat with one for 6 minutes, then *DING* ... the next prospect sits down in front of you. A good way to talk to a wide range of men within your age range, in a short amount of time... kinda like weeding thru the bad ones in person.
My Speed Dating experience, while providing me with an evening worth of entertainment, left me still looking for Mister Right. Out of the 10 guys I chatted with, I thought 3 of them were worth a second chat, to see if there was any other connection. Two of them were NO WAY's, and the others were... eh... nothing special,no common interests.
I went home after my Speed Dating event, and entered my thoughts about each guy (yes or no) on the website, and within 5 days, you would see who said yes to you.
Five days later, I got my results. The only 2 guys who said yes to me, were the 2 guys that I said NO WAY to! Sigh.
No luck with round one of Speed Dating. Round Two?
Speed Dating Round Two was suppose to be tomorrow night. When I pre-registered, it said the men's section was full! Sounded good... more to choose from!
I got the call today that the Speed Dating event is canceled. Not enough women signed up. Come on Ladies!
Oh well, maybe next time!
My Speed Dating experience, while providing me with an evening worth of entertainment, left me still looking for Mister Right. Out of the 10 guys I chatted with, I thought 3 of them were worth a second chat, to see if there was any other connection. Two of them were NO WAY's, and the others were... eh... nothing special,no common interests.
I went home after my Speed Dating event, and entered my thoughts about each guy (yes or no) on the website, and within 5 days, you would see who said yes to you.
Five days later, I got my results. The only 2 guys who said yes to me, were the 2 guys that I said NO WAY to! Sigh.
No luck with round one of Speed Dating. Round Two?
Speed Dating Round Two was suppose to be tomorrow night. When I pre-registered, it said the men's section was full! Sounded good... more to choose from!
I got the call today that the Speed Dating event is canceled. Not enough women signed up. Come on Ladies!
Oh well, maybe next time!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
He Did What?!
An ex-boyfriend contacted me today to chat. We exchanged pleasantries. The usual "how are you doing?" kind of stuff. He kept asking how I was, and what I've been up to. I wanted to say "I've been SO busy turning down dates from all the hot doctors & lawyers in town!", but I told him the truth... "same shit, different day".
After he realized I was probably leading a life just as exciting as his since he dumped me, he continued to tell me about a new toy he bought. A toy? Hmmm. I was curious. He proceeded to tell me that he had purchased, after much research and countless blog post testimonials, a penis extender.
A WHAT? Penis extender. A $300 Penis Extender! This crazy contraption hooks on to your manhood and stretches it out! He told me he has to wear it 4 hours a day! No wonder he's messaging me to chat, he can't leave the house!
I was a bit shocked at this revelation. We had been intimately involved, and while he was no porn star, he was well within the average guidelines, which most of my prior bf's have been in as well.
The funny thing about this whole scenario is the reason he broke up with me in the first place. His excuse for ending the relationship was that he needed "time to work on himself" (his exact words!). When he told me that, I didn't think the work he was referring to was making his penis larger!
I told him I thought that was pretty funny considering the reason he dumped me. Then he proceeded to say "Well, we really weren't boyfriend and girlfriend...we were just dating, and I haven't asked you out in a while." Excuse me? This was coming from the man who asked me, like a giddy boy in junior high, to "go steady". I said "going steady was for teenagers, and while I was still getting pimples at the age of 35, I'd settle with calling him my boyfriend." So yes, we were boyfriend & girlfriend. You don't have a break up talk about how you need time to work on yourself, and shouldn't be with anyone, if you aren't bf/gf.
Well, I hope he and his new found penis growth will be happy with each other!
After he realized I was probably leading a life just as exciting as his since he dumped me, he continued to tell me about a new toy he bought. A toy? Hmmm. I was curious. He proceeded to tell me that he had purchased, after much research and countless blog post testimonials, a penis extender.
A WHAT? Penis extender. A $300 Penis Extender! This crazy contraption hooks on to your manhood and stretches it out! He told me he has to wear it 4 hours a day! No wonder he's messaging me to chat, he can't leave the house!
I was a bit shocked at this revelation. We had been intimately involved, and while he was no porn star, he was well within the average guidelines, which most of my prior bf's have been in as well.
The funny thing about this whole scenario is the reason he broke up with me in the first place. His excuse for ending the relationship was that he needed "time to work on himself" (his exact words!). When he told me that, I didn't think the work he was referring to was making his penis larger!
I told him I thought that was pretty funny considering the reason he dumped me. Then he proceeded to say "Well, we really weren't boyfriend and girlfriend...we were just dating, and I haven't asked you out in a while." Excuse me? This was coming from the man who asked me, like a giddy boy in junior high, to "go steady". I said "going steady was for teenagers, and while I was still getting pimples at the age of 35, I'd settle with calling him my boyfriend." So yes, we were boyfriend & girlfriend. You don't have a break up talk about how you need time to work on yourself, and shouldn't be with anyone, if you aren't bf/gf.
Well, I hope he and his new found penis growth will be happy with each other!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Through the Fog
Why do things always seem more intense at night? Everything seems to be enhanced by the darkness. Emotions more intense, feelings more real. Isn't that why scary movies are better in the dark? Somehow the darkness enhances and heightens our senses.
At night, in the fog of the dark... maybe the mind feels free to wander a bit. The mind thinks about what could have been, what is, and what should be. The heart joins in with its relentless nagging desire to give, and before you know it, I'm having and emotional meltdown!
I am a pretty emotional gal. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I'm not afraid to tell people what I'm thinking. Of course, this often leads to heart break, when one exposes the raw nerve of love & desire. I'll often say things that, upon reflection, could have been held back a bit.
Do I regret my emotional wanders through the fog? No... that's part of who I am. Dreamy, impulsive with my emotions....romantic! And you know what, I wouldn't have it any other way!
At night, in the fog of the dark... maybe the mind feels free to wander a bit. The mind thinks about what could have been, what is, and what should be. The heart joins in with its relentless nagging desire to give, and before you know it, I'm having and emotional meltdown!
I am a pretty emotional gal. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I'm not afraid to tell people what I'm thinking. Of course, this often leads to heart break, when one exposes the raw nerve of love & desire. I'll often say things that, upon reflection, could have been held back a bit.
Do I regret my emotional wanders through the fog? No... that's part of who I am. Dreamy, impulsive with my emotions....romantic! And you know what, I wouldn't have it any other way!
Friday, May 15, 2009
Work with me!
A recent "boyfriend" of mine broke up with me because he claimed he wasn't ready to date anyone so soon after his divorce. I believed his story of "needing time for myself", and wanting to work on some things in his life before getting involved with someone else.
Imagine my surprise when I log on to one of my usual dating sites, and find his profile on there. Not only was his profile on the site, he was actively signed in, and a gold member! Wow, what a difference a few weeks can make! I guess he's worked on himself enough. Must not have been much to work with, I'm thinking.
Imagine my surprise when I log on to one of my usual dating sites, and find his profile on there. Not only was his profile on the site, he was actively signed in, and a gold member! Wow, what a difference a few weeks can make! I guess he's worked on himself enough. Must not have been much to work with, I'm thinking.
Creative Forces
I need to be more creative. Or at least more productive! I've always been a creative person, with my photography and art, but my production level seems to be affected by so many external things. My drive to create is often pushed aside by another driving force.... love. Well, ok... the search for love. I find myself searching for my Mister Right so often (and on a regular basis!) that it has become part of my daily schedule. I get up, make coffee, scan the dating sites.... multiple dating sites....tweet about the losers I come across... tweet some more and complain that I'm spending too much time looking for men..... repeat. and repeat.....you get the idea.
I do find that when I am in a relationship, I do seem to have more time for the creative things like painting, and writing, and often my "love" will inspire me to create works of art. Many times I've created something for the object of my desire, and presented it to him as a token of my feelings. Some of those works of art, I wish I had gotten back after the breakup, but many were created with just that person in mind, and would remind me of them, so it's better that they aren't sitting around!
Now, I just need to get motivated...... and create! Write! Paint! Glue paper to every surface in my apartment!
I do find that when I am in a relationship, I do seem to have more time for the creative things like painting, and writing, and often my "love" will inspire me to create works of art. Many times I've created something for the object of my desire, and presented it to him as a token of my feelings. Some of those works of art, I wish I had gotten back after the breakup, but many were created with just that person in mind, and would remind me of them, so it's better that they aren't sitting around!
Now, I just need to get motivated...... and create! Write! Paint! Glue paper to every surface in my apartment!
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